If you read my post yesterday Unrequited love you’d understand what this is all about. But I'm not so sure if I will make any connections at all to the title :D

The post somehow came off with something like “I’m about to turn down” a guy, but nope. 

So far, I don’t think someone is planning to confess, well, if there’s, I’d make sure he’ll never get the chance to say it. That’s how I run things with guys.

Unrequited love does not only refer to someone whose love was unreturned but also to the rejecter.  If you think that during courting (or confession time), it’s only the guy that feels uneasy, well, guys! You better think again because I tell you. It’s not. Girls somehow would feel pressured as to how is she gonna turn you down in a lesser pain way. I’m saying this through my very own experience.

This happened few years back perhaps around my teen years.

There was this guy who likes me so much (I could tell how serious he was) and it took him years before he could finally say it to me. It was a huge chance for him. There was no one else but us in his place, listening to some anime songs choosing which one of those hundreds of song is to be downloaded and burn. If there’s something we have in common, it was the Japanese manga series, music and language. We’re both addicted to it. He even has all these expensive collections of Japanese anime characters miniatures or whatever you call it. When he started talking, he was sweating; I could sense how nervous he was. His hands were shaking, his voice was trembling. He’s unstable but he was trying his best. It was impressive. I was impressed. I was flattered how my presence could make him shiver like that but I was honestly worried at the same time. I’m worried about him. Me. Us. The Friendship. That awkward moment when I can’t help but to feel the same thing he was feeling-the nervousness. I was nervous because I might say something I might regret after or something that might hurt him.

One of my most feared moment was being rejected and rejecting someone.

Why I fear being rejected?

Because it makes me feel a little less of myself. It makes me feel like I’m too dumb to be accepted. It makes me feel like I’m not worth it. It makes me feel worse. It depresses me. It makes me crazy. That’s one reason why it was so hard for me to reject someone-because I can totally relate.

My reason of rejecting someone: a very simple answer. I don’t like him or I like someone else (I think the latter would do). But I don’t usually use this line to reject someone. It’s too cruel, you think? No matter how much you say that it’s the best way. It‘s the most easiest, direct and honest way to wrap things up.  But for me, it’s not. I have my ways but I don’t think it’s working either. I would usually run around the bush. When I’m about to reject someone I will start the statement with..

I appreciate your feelings. I’m flattered you like me. You’re nice, kind and you thought so much of me. I am thankful, but you deserve someone better (better than me), someone who can return all your feelings and kindness and it’s not me. 

But that’s the irony of it because the very reason he’s courting you was because you are his choice-his best choice.

No arguments there.

But when he asked me,

Why don’t you like me? Was it because I’m not handsome (but he’s not so bad looking and it really doesn’t matter if he is, though I must admit, appearance do play an important role, but if you really like someone, it doesn’t matter how bad he looks like)?

Was it because I’m not rich (but they’re actually well off)?

He said, yeah, girls are like that, they always prefer someone good-looking and all. But wait, I would think who wouldn’t want that? After all it’s the first thing that would matter-the looks.

What about you guys?

I mean, I wanted to ask him, what about you? Didn’t you court me because you find me pretty or the kind? I mean, let’s not be hypocrite here.

We all have reasons.

But the very thing is that-we just don’t click. That’s all. You keep your reasons, I’ll keep mine.

Ugh. Explaining this to him would do no good. Why? Because whatever nice words you will say to him, he would not listen. He would simply want you answer-yes to him.

Let’s turn the table guys.

Picture this out.

What if I will confess that I like you (and you don’t like me for real), what would you do? Court me out of pity? You wouldn’t want to go out with a girl you don’t like, would you? Hit on me for your sexual advantage? (The usual thing a guy would do)? Ignore me? Or? Are you gonna tell me you don’t like me because I’m not pretty and definitely not your type? (Rarely things a guy would do)? Or just smile on me? or yeah, best line would be "I like someone else too! ^_^

Confusing eh?

But guys, life is like that. If not being accepted, you’ll be rejected. You will either be the one playing the rejecter part or the one being rejected. Take your pick. That’s life.  It was always been that way even before you were born. 

What I really want to say is that. Don’t feel bad about being rejected with your feelings towards someone because you will never know that someone else out there is looking you at the same time feeling the same thing because of you. It’s just a matter of who gets the chance first.

Does it make sense? Guess not! HAHA. 


bleeeh ;-P

lol. ^_^

All along I thought that "unrequited love" means reunited love when it actually means quite not the opposite but almost. 


Why am I talking about this? I dunno really. Maybe because I have been influenced with Japanese movies these days and some scenes in the movie portrays an unrequited love or such. It is something that does not happen only in movies but in real life. 


Agree?


An unrequited love.


Scene:


When a guy confesses his feelings towards a girl, if he's serious, he'd probably feel nervous..aye? He would think it was him who's doing, exerting a great effort to confess. Of course, seemingly hoping the girl he's wooing will see or realize how much effort he put through to overcome the feeling of agitation. 


But the moment he got rejected, (contrary to what he's expecting) he would gone wild. He'll ignore the girl. Avoid her. Curse her. Hate her or worse?


For what reason? for feeling discarded? 


Hah!


Would he rather want the girl to say yes out of pity? 


I think he should thank the girl for being honest. 


Correct? 


Respect the girls decision and move on. Find someone else, go on a hunt! (there are plenty of girls). 


Yeah. Yeah. I know! there's no one else like her. But what he do? the girl has someone else in her mind. The girl has it's own heart to follow..


Let's turn the table next :)

I'm currently watching this Korean drama series "12 Men In A Year" don't worry this is not a review" ^_^, it's just that..


It's my sister! 


she keeps telling me that I will never get myself a boyfriend. That I'm pitiful because I'm single. Jobless and unluckily penniless :( 


At some point, she's right. 


But what can I do? It's not like I'm gonna die not being in a relationship, right? But probably die of famished. 


Sure, being in a relationship seems to be fun. You have someone with you not all the time but atleast someone who's oblige to "think" of you every now and then, if he even bothers. lol
Someone who will treat you out for a date (waste money on you) and greets you in the morning, afternoon and evening. Someone who will constantly sweep you out of your feet. Someone who acts nicely, treat you like a princess or even a queen. Someone who says sweet nothings. Someone who will argue with you, laugh with you or worse makes you cry but will kiss your tears away in the end. Someone who can turn your world upside down. Someone to think of and someone other than friends and family you can build your future with..


Should I go on?


Nope.


I'd rather not. 


I might not stop :)


You see. There are some good aspects of having a relationship but as I mentioned in my previous (so long ago) post, there were reasons why I remained single and my sister just don't get it.


You think I should get one?


and then snap!


Nope.  I don't think so. I'd rather be single than to go out with different guys I don't like :p 


Hmm..I remember my cousin once told me, 

you should find a guy who likes you more than you do.

but I actually prefer the contrary. 


I don't know why. It's just that. I am more than happy being with someone I like a lot even if he likes me less. weird eh?


Hay. I dunno how will this topic ends up but basically I need to connect the whole thing to the title "12 Men In A Year" ..


..hmm, I was thinking of giving myself a break. aye? I need to loosen up a little. 


I need to start hunting-GUY HUNTING..


and we even come up with a style. 


whatever that is, it will be shared once it's being realize :)


As for now, a question was being raised.


Which would you prefer. He/She likes you more than you do or the contrary?

Challenge time!

My friends would usually say my sister looks so me. Sometimes some of our relatives would call her by my name (by mistake) which is weird because I believe we don't look the same but one time I posted a pic in fb as my profile pic (we exchanged pics) and none of them (oh, no. except for Janine) believe it wasn't me. Can you believe it?????

my little sis

she used this pic.

HAHA. but that wasn't my entry for today :D 

As for this challenge. I chose another photo..

this is me and Janine :D

I don't know if this is the right pick for this challenge but I can't think of anything more other than this. Got few peeps who did asked me if it's a mirror image. I know it's obvious that it's not, but they said if you will take a quick look at it as quickly as 3secs less you'd probably fall for it too. 

What do you think? :)

So the guy who I asked to do a blog post about LOVE just decided to say no! how dare is he? haha!!! He said he's busy and blah blah blah. Damn! He and his lame excuses.

I'm doing it myself then!!!!

warning: no flowery words ahead :)


here we go..


When people ask me, have you ever been in love? 

I do nothing but just raise my eyebrow..

My response is always- I don't know.

Why ask me? I honestly do not know the meaning of the word. I don't even know the word has it's meaning.

I think love is undefinable. What do you think? 

But if you insist! Fine! For the sake of posting, I will put every thoughts (I have) about LOVE in writing.

this might come out a little awkward since I find this topic really hard, confusing and annoying. haha

Love for me is nothing but a word. It has no definite meaning--JUST A WORD. A most used and abused word ever written in the dictionary. 

LOVE sucks!


For Pete's sake! Love makes a person lie then he becomes a liar. You think that's good? No! You're stupid if you think it is. 

It emptied someone's pocket. It makes someone sick. It makes someone cry. It makes someone suffer and unluckily die.


It causes a sheep to turn into a wolf. It wakens the most unhidden desire of someone. It causes trouble. It causes pain. burdens. sorrows. tears. 


Love is death. 


..love for you is???




P.S
I'd better keep it short and simple or else I'll end up rambling something nonsense :)

Hmm..Back to my challenge today since I have nothing else to do (well, except for listening Korean songs) ^_^


As you know, I'm still jobless. Gosh. It's frustrating but I tried not to think too much about it because if I do, I wanna regret declining the Kuwait offer :(


But anyway..


I guess some of you are not jobless as me? aye? Like Henry, he mentioned he's a lifeguard. Hay. envious :( HAHA.


why?


because it reminds me of Baywatch. ohhhhh! so long ago :)


How about you? any dream jobs in mind right now?


Well, I know it's kinda too late to mention this but when I was younger, I have few dream jobs in mind. They say, when you dream-dream big, but I guess I did not understand how big "big" was then..

1. Secretary (hoping my boss is as handsome as Enrique Iglesias)
2. Photographer
3. Researcher/Journalist/Writer
4. DJ
5. Work in a travel agency :)

..and you? care to tell?

Back to my challenge. Whoa. Haven't been doing my task (challenge) for days and feel so guilty about it. 


But I'm back anyway..


Let's talk about cravings..


What do you crave about these days? 


Hay. As for me, it's the Indian Mango. I dunno why it's called an Indian Mango but whatever. Gosh. I love Indian Mango so much. I've been craving for it everyday.

who will not crave for this when it is just a meter away from your sight?

This picture was taken right outside our the apartment (terrace). It's owned by our neighbor. We managed to get like 5 or 6 using our magical stick. shhhh.. HAHA! I know it's bad but the fruit was very inviting. I can't help to say no :D


see here..

my friends in fb are craving for this as well. and I got a few likes after posting this  photo :D proof that I'm not alone :) 

Do you remember? Recently my cousin gave birth to a cute, healthy little boy named Alaric (inspired by a Vampire Diary character, I guess?). It wasn’t my first time to stay over in the hospital to watch after someone. 

Way back maybe 5 years ago, (I can’t remember the year exactly) I watched after my grandmother who was hospitalized for more than a month. I watch her being restless for a quite a long time. During our stay in the hospital, I’ve seen her doctors in and out in her room doing her rounds, usually the doctor would comment about her condition, if it’s doing better or going worse.

Then I realized, a doctor (like in Grey’s Anatomy) must be very smart to say all those things I did not understand-medical terminologies impresses me so much. Where do you think did they learn so much about their field? Was it in school? Training? Experience perhaps? or here? He would usually talk about diagnoses, symptoms and such. In a white lab-like gown and a heartbeat monitoring sort of thing, he can already determine your condition, or am I just exaggerating things? The way how they do things is overwhelming. They way how they handle and explain things. The way how they keep their cool from their grumpy patience and calmness in every situation is exemplary.

You see, anyone in the field of medicine learning does not stop studying after graduation. For them, it’s just the beginning. They are responsible for their patience’s life, meaning, they should really be an expert. It is one’s life is at stake, and to do this, they must have enough knowledge to perform their job flawlessly by undergoing endless studies and training/s. They must have an excellent teacher to guide them, to teach them well. Why not be a teacher yourself?  Learn they way to teach in an effective way. Learn their ways and style-learn it why, learn it how, learn it where? Learn it here, learn it now.

An exchange of opinions, ideas and feedbacks from other doctors is one of helping themselves  could also be a tool to be more equipped in their chosen field. Through this, you will learn from one another. It’s like a give and take kind of situation.  Learning from the experts makes you an expert yourself. When you become an expert in your field,  it is best to teach other’s what you learn (to have a better world), sharing is loving.  You should know this by now. Being a doctor does not only mean being the doctor, you should also be somewhat like a leader and a manager. You should train more, study more to gain more. Train here to be a consultant. 

This is indeed weird. I am confident I wrote something last father's day. It was a greeting for all my blogger's fathers and father bloggers but I realized just now that it didn't publish. I wonder why? 


Hmm..anyway, that's why I'm making another one. 


Dear fellow bloggers,


Happy father's day to all your dad and to all blogger dads. I hope you had a blast :)


Sorry.


I've been a little busy these past few days. Lots of events have been held. I hope everyone is doing great. Don't worry, though I don't post comments in your blog (since I'm using my phone during visits) rest assured I check them every time :)


Ajah!

Hello once again dear bloggers :) 


I hope everyone of you has so far a nice day/night. As for me, I've been just moping around. There's nothing much left to do since I did send my resume to every possible job I could apply to and I'm still waiting. Damn! I should have taken that one chance! Well, there's actually dvds to watch but my sister warned me firmly that we should watch it together, meaning? I'll have to wait whenever she's free. Imagine that? 


Anyway, as I was saying in my previous post..


Yes. It wasn't me who gave birth :)  I would never wanna imagine myself getting pregnant. I don't know why.  I still didn't ask permission from my cousin but I'm still posting it anyway :) I will let her know later. hehe..


So, here's what happened since Friday..


Before my cousin confined herself in the hospital, we kinda roam around in the city first. We went to my aunt's office and Limketkai Mall, specifically in Missy Bon-Bon to eat some ice cream. yay..

This is Sean, my cousin's eldest son. 

 After this, we went home and later on that afternoon or early evening, my cousin (Maggie) with my cousin (Ate Pia, the one who gave birth) picked me up and head up to the hospital. Maggie then went back home later that night and I was left to accompany Ate Pia over the night. 

Ate doesn't want anyone to see her in that situation so, I did some trick and made her not so visible in this picture. HAHA!

Remember that male nurse I mentioned? Yeah. The cute one? Yeah! I'm not sure if this pic will prove you right but in person? He really is cute. tsk. Hay. I should have ask his name!!! Damn it! HAHA! 


He was checking my cousin's vital status if I'm not mistaken. He was supposed to be the one to put the dextrose on but my cousin was trembling the whole time (She was pretty scared with needles you know), so I guess he got scared and asked for a rescue then 3 female nurses enter the room and did the dextrose thingy. 


Picture of my night (part of the challenge)

view from the window :)

:(

On a Saturday morning (picture of my morning), 

low quality image since I've been using the front cam  :) 

my cousin was scheduled to be in the operating room for C/S. But before that, they have to monitor the baby's heartbeat first at the pre-operating room. Guess what I've been doing there?

Yeah. I've been taking pics with this suit. LOL!

Then, standby for a little while..


After more or less 2hours, she then gave birth to this little Angel..

Baby Seth Kean Alaric :)

(",)

..about to cry

feeling relax :)

Oh la la! I always wonder how miraculous it is to store a baby in a woman's belly :D I mean, c'mon? How his toes, fingers, eyes, nose, ears and everything else really do the formation or whatever. HAHA!


So, everything went well, by Sunday and Monday, she managed to move around already :) she even went downstairs (record center) to submit the birth certificate of Seth :)

that's the another male nurse-I got his name thru his name plate but I like more the other one. 

Then home :) This time, I got Maggie to take a picture of me and Seth :)

sweet child :)

that's it! ^_^ Isn't it cool? I managed to put 3 challenges in one post? Somewhere I went, photo of my night and morning..HAHA! awesome :)


Wait. I should have taken a photo of me and that male nurse, aye? So I can have my challenge "A photo with a stranger" hmm..but I don't think it counts since he's not really a stranger after all. HAHA! 


-gotta do some blog-hopping now :)

Hello lovies! ^_^


It's been a week since my last post and it felt so bad not sharing anything. I've been so greedy with sleep lately so everytime there's a chance, I'll sleep. How are you? I hope everything's doing good..


My week was kind of boring, fun and exciting. Boring because I stayed most of my time in the hospital doing close to nothing. Fun-because I get to see this cute male nurse everytime. HAHA! Exciting because there's a new born baby in the family :) How's that? 


I'd like to share some photos but first I'll have to ask permission from my cousin.  Will share some other time though.


That's all for now. I need to get some sleep-AGAIN :)


Have a nice day!!! ^_^

It was never a secret of you my dear bloggers that I've been actively looking for a job. I went to several interviews, one exam and I was not even informed if I passed or failed the exam. How UN-cool is that? Everyone in my batch (who took the exam) got their results and I did not? I texted the HR and yet they just ignore me :( Gosh.

Anyway, finally after few tries of interview, I got lucky. It's a job (I'm sure I am overqualified but because I'm desperate and I really wanted to buy my little sister a smart phone, so at least she's not outdated) in Kuwait. It pays not very good for a job abroad but just because I wanted to go far far away so I really want to grab the chance but everyone is telling me not to go :( and I decided not to! No regrets. It just that, it feels so bad to be jobless again :( Hay. I'm going crazy!!! :((

Anyway, I'd like to thank everyone for sharing some of your thoughts with my previous challenge.

<3

First thing first, gorgeous Julie Ann of It's A Girl Thing is having her birthday giveaway, though I already decided not to (but I actually want to, I just don't feel like I'm lucky enough to win that thing) but she kinda said I should give it a try, so, that's why I'm doing it-fingers crossed :) The giveaway will last until the 6th of June, so ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to join, please do, you still have like 2 days to do it. 

take a look (screen shots) O_O

 Goodluck!!! ^_^

Back to my challenge today..

TOP 5 NAMES I WISH WERE MINE (I somehow shared it with Mark already and I'm trying to look for that names but I can't remember anymore which posts did I place my comment with these names)

1.  Samantha
2. Alexandra
3. Gabrielle 
4. Elizabeth
5. Meg/Mheg 

that's it :D 

How about you lovies? What's your top 5 names you wish were yours? :D 

Up for another photo challenge! 

Some of you may have seen this photo already but what I still have this challenge and no matter how much I wanna skip this part, I can't.  :( So, I'm sharing this again..Oh! I'm ashamed. HAHA

..I don't think I changed that much, don't you agree? I didn't even grow up! HAHA! I was thin then and still thin now :)

oh. I'm just so glad I uploaded these just before the original went missing (and probably damaged) during the  flash flood :D

Have a nice weekend ahead everyone! ^_^