I just got home from my interview.

It totally ruined my day. Gosh! I just hate myself so much! I've been in to a lot of interviews and I learned nothing. I was doing okay on the way and then everything just went black. I didn't even have the chance to apply everything I've learned in my training. The exaggeration of the mouth when pronouncing a word/s, tongue positioning, how to read it properly and blah blah blah. I was lost! I couldn't even deliver my answer appropriately. I stammer, my hands were sweating and trembling at the same time. I had everything (in mind) in control. I only need to speak with confidence, with smile and proper pronunciation and I fucked up! I freaked out!!! I got one chance..one chance and I blew it. Threw it all away just like that. Shit! Shit! Shit! I hate me!!! I really really really hate myself right now!!! Gosh!!! When can I ever get things right?!!! Ugh! 

screw this day!!!

P.S

I love you guys. xx

I woke up pretty annoyed with my father today, he keeps calling me like 5 or 6am in the morning and I don't want to answer it until he called my sister, oh!!! my beauty rest!!! haha. I should have turned off my phone before I went to sleep last night because I know for sure he'd call me in the morning, he do that a lot. HAHA! Don't get me wrong, I just don't like waking up because someone is calling just to greet me a HAPPY BIRTHDAY! HAHA! I'm weird. I know :)  But that's my father! what can I do? HAHA! They (mama and papa) just can't stop laughing when they realized I'm still sleepy when I answered the phone.  HAHA!


After the phone call, I went out to buy something for lunch (it's not my money, it's my brother's) cake and blah blah blah..


When I got home, I checked my fb again, oh. so many wall posts :) it really made me smile somehow. That's what I loved most during birthday, it floods with greetings! 


But one thing was very surprising..

Janine says.. Instead of giving you a letter written in a stationary or card ( baka kasi nagsasawa ka na) , I 've just thought of writing it in a different way and more creative. So here it is! I wrote you a letter using fun signs. :D I did had a lot of fun making this video. Though I look a little stupid here. haha. i hope you too will enjoy this little thing. Sorry I'm not an expert in making superb videos, you know that! so eto lang nakayanan ko. haha! Happy birthday! :D

I was smiling the whole time watching her with all those flashcards. I know she's embarrass but she really did managed to last till the end, how cool is that? :) 


She's funny, isn't she? :) funny, cute, cool and simply the best!!! ^_^


This is so far the best surprise ever :)


thank you biatch!!! ^_^ miss you too! ^_^

So finally, after 6months of waiting, I have hold of my yearbook photos already and I don't like it! really! but compared to the others, mine was a little bit okay. 

okay, here it is..

you do the judging :D

 So, what can you say? :(

We finally started our graduation song practices last Monday (I think I've been mentioning this a lot) and so far, so good..

yet boring. 

I mean, I have to get up early and arrive school late.

How awesome! right? haha!

Here's a sneak peek inside the Mother Ignacia Hall (where we did our series of practies) I took this morning.

You see. In the HRM Program, we only have few gentlemen and here they are with their (I have no idea) finger sign :)

THE BOYS YO!

this is what they do during the practice :)

that's Neil with his "yeah, I'm _____" pose :)

in the middle is Mrs. Peralta (conductor) and beside her is Jyan (a friend of mine) who's helping her out teaching us the songs :)

whoa! there's "Onin" so engrossed with the practice (I guess) *clap clap*

Sharisse and Jilla

just nothing :)

And lastly! As promised I will share to you a much more clearer image of me with my curly hair since the one I shared in previous post (Morning Me. Bored Me. Worried Me. All Me =)) was kinda dark, blurry, grainy and blah blah blah..(see the difference now? I mean, me, previously and now?) -I mean, whatever..^_^

so, 

behold..

hehe..gosh. posting my pics makes me feel a little (only a little?) bit vain. sucks! but anyway, for the sake of blogging! I'm embracing vanity! hahahaha!

You see? No matter how much worried I am with my life now and how stressful my upcoming graduation is, I can still manage to take a photo of myself upon waking up with my most sincere smile =)) *wink*

How cool is that? 

with DEXTER baby :)

Too vain, you think? :)


Yes? :(

No? :) -Awesome! hehe..

Yes. I'm starting to really get pretty worried about how my life would turn out as I will be facing life, perhaps alone, after graduation. And I don't think I can make it on my own :(, but I have no choice. I should have done this long ago. I mean, being independent. Living my own life at my own expense and such. You know what I mean, aye? :)


Oh! weary thoughts!!!! kill me.

Oh! by the way, did you know that I got a new hair style? I'm not really sure if this one makes any different at all. I mean, I went to a SALON today and curled my hair. HAHA! That's me when bored :)

I tried to take some shots using the webcam but I don't think it will show up clearly, though, I'll try to upload some other better quality next time :D

lol, I don't think you can actually see the difference, right? haha. Well, I thought so. When I look at myself in the mirror, I look the same. sad :(

still can't see the difference? oh! that's awful. haha! 

 So, that was me saying. I'm bored :D

Oh! another graduation practice tomorrow :(( I hate it! tsk!


I'm catching up some posts. be right back :) 


xoxo

Graduation Day!

After 10 years in college I will finally march myself up stage to receive my diploma. I honestly am not excited about it. I fear that my life would turn upside down after graduation. That things won't go the way I perceive it to be. I'm not afraid of failures-I failed too many times already. Another failure means nothing to me now. I am more afraid of disappointments from my family. I am no good at handling responsibilities, neither to take care of other but myself. I don't know what to do and what will I become after graduation. All I know is that, I have to look for a job, stabilize myself and live my life the way I always wanted it to be! hooray!!!

DO NOT CONTACT ME IN ANYWAY ANYMORE!

I don't have issues with people telling me that, but I think I deserve an explanation why in the world they want me out of their life all of the sudden. Right? I mean, what did I ever do to be in this situation? I kept asking myself that question that very moment I got his text. I was stunned. I froze myself wondering why he said that, why he sent that message. Why oh Why?

I can't think of anything or anything at all that will make him say that no matter how hard I try to recall things between us. The last thing I remember was, he would call on in the middle of my sleep (around 2am or 3am-that's morning already) and I was concerned about that. I was worried that something might had happen. If his okay or what since I never answered any of his calls just those times. Until we finally spoke, he said he dreamed of me and that woke him up and that's the reason he called. And that's it. We had a nice a conversation. He even told me he didn't know what to give me during graduation. I was surprised, really. I never thought he'd thought about that.

Later..

We never spoke for a while, no exchange messages, no phone calls, no chats, although, I've been such a nuisance with him sending him 'pm' in facebook because I wanted to put him in my resume as one my references, and I was asking what's his title but he never replied in any of those. That really confuses me. But I thought, maybe he's just busy or something. So, I let it go. 

And then one day, I got his text saying that I should not contact him anymore or in anyway which startled me until now. I don't know what to say, my reply was "ok" and then later, I asked.."Why?" but nothing, I got nothing. I don't know what happen. I don't know what to think or whatever. I then finally find myself blocking him in my facebook account thinking it's the best thing to do. 

I did the right thing, did I? I mean, what kind of friend would do that? What could be his reasons? I want to know what, why, how? oh! I'm gonna die thinking about that! Sucks. 

By the way, in case you're wondering. He's my friend, I mean, I guess? We're close. We share things, gossips and we've known each other for a while now. We're okay. He has a girlfriend by the way but I don't think it has something to do with his action. I don't know what changed him. I don't know what made him do that. He has his reasons, I know, but what could it be? Oh! kill me now!!! 

 If it was you guys? what could be your reasons?

..and I can't tell you who. But I can tell you why. ^_^

I like him because I find him Nice. Cool and Funny ^_^

He makes me smile. Nah. Actually he makes me laugh. The thought of him makes me shivers. 

Gosh. 

It's demented! 

Yeah. 

It is!!! 

Really! 

Me? 

Liking him? 

It's insane!!! 

I don't want anything to do with him because I think he has a girlfriend :(

Ugh. I'm going mad!!! jeez!


I want it so badly to stop-right now!!!





 
 

Note: this is not about the movie (In The Name Of Love with Angel Locsin). LOL

Yesterday we (myself, Koting & why so random?) attended our friend's wedding (Jeff and Karen) @ Koresco Hotel.

killing time ^_^

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Beware of Misconceptions: MERELY JUST4FUN

I seem to be bothered whenever someone call me "vain". In my mind, how can I? Is taking a lot of photos of yourself will classify you as one? lol. It's crazy right? But anyway, hell I care :) 

Taking photos of me, I believe, do not make me feel conceited like everyone else does. I don't feel pretty or beautiful at all whenever I took one. I just love taking pictures with myself and everyone else :) Know why? So I would know which angle I look bad or good. haha! (Practice makes perfect, right?) ^_^ 

So, here it goes..

 -few of my hundreds of pics taken. haha! Now, guess I might reconsider being vain..? or not? oh! no! haha!

Actually, the "Me" is just a part 1..so, I won't say much anymore because, I dunno what to write anyway. 

I will be posting maybe 3 of my friends for follow up post so you would realize it's not just me whose legally inclined with self photography! (what a term!) hehe

Misc.

"Mai" Favorite Pictures ^___^

Notice something? 

Oh! that's me (white and black) using my friends mobile phone :) 

Close ups!

As the saying goes, beauty lies in eye of the beholder..♥♥♥