October 19, 2011

Why I'm Single: Reason 03 (We're Just Friends)

The most cliche reason: 

I'd rather have him as a friend than lose him totally.
There are guys who draw this..
And this apply to women also.
Friends can be lovers but lovers can't be friends.
A common excuse with two people who call themselves "friends" yet both like each other. They always have this boundary and always being cautious with what's going on between them. They tried to compress whatever what's inside them-the longings, the jealousy when one's seen with another, the feeling of being set aside and left alone.

I'm single because we're friends..and we can't be more than that..

I have a guy friend who I really like. We were close and we talk from one thing to another almost everyday. We share secrets and we share feelings. Until one day, everything changed. He confessed that he likes me and he wanted to be us. I took it as a joke but I was really happy because I like him too, very much. But since I'm too stupid to admit that, I ignored him. I mean, I ignored what he said. I pretended not hearing anything. I am happy just us being friends, I wanted to stay it that way because I thought it's better that way. I thought if we will take the risk we'll lose the friendship. That's the usual scenario and it really does happen in real. I knew people who've been into that kind of situation. So, I'd rather have him as a friend than lose him totally.

Later, I told him I have boyfriend thinking it's the best way to let us go on with our friendship. 

After that, he tried to avoid me. 

Then I realized, it was a bad move. I should haven't pretended to have a boyfriend. I should have told him that I like him instead. Gosh. I should have took the risk. I'm such a coward! 

Then he call me a week after. He sounds chirpy on the other line. I was nervous. What is going on? He can't be this happy. Then he said, "Mai, got two news for you. Which one do you wanna hear first? the bad one or the good one?
Instead of answering he's question, I told him. oh really? I have something to confess too..but you go first and I'll go with the bad news. 
Then he said.."I might not able to talk to you anymore like we used to". That was shattering. I dunno, I just kept quiet and let him speak as he continued.."I already have a girlfriend and she wanted to meet you" wth? alright..I dunno what to say. I just smiled and forgot about that thing I wanted to tell him earlier. I was supposed to tell him that I like him and that bf thingy is nothing and it was all a lie but it's too late. Although at times I would joke around and would blurt that I like him and I really want us to be us and all. Since, a year ago, he broke up with his gf but after, we just laughed at it. He also told me that we'll be just good as friends. Great! But it's okay. He's right. Just sometimes, I can't stop thinking, what if we'll give ourselves a chance? Will it work? or we'll end up like other friends? 

If you like someone, don't wait for forever because life is short. You will never know what will happen tomorrow. Seize every opportunity and grab every chances you have. Take the risk, deal with the consequences later. 

Did you know that the best person to love is your friend? ^_^

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