If you read my post yesterday Unrequited love you’d understand what this is all about. But I'm not so sure if I will make any connections at all to the title :D
The post somehow came off with something like “I’m about to turn down” a guy, but nope.
So far, I don’t think someone is planning to confess, well, if there’s, I’d make sure he’ll never get the chance to say it. That’s how I run things with guys.
Unrequited love does not only refer to someone whose love was unreturned but also to the rejecter. If you think that during courting (or confession time), it’s only the guy that feels uneasy, well, guys! You better think again because I tell you. It’s not. Girls somehow would feel pressured as to how is she gonna turn you down in a lesser pain way. I’m saying this through my very own experience.
This happened few years back perhaps around my teen years.
There was this guy who likes me so much (I could tell how serious he was) and it took him years before he could finally say it to me. It was a huge chance for him. There was no one else but us in his place, listening to some anime songs choosing which one of those hundreds of song is to be downloaded and burn. If there’s something we have in common, it was the Japanese manga series, music and language. We’re both addicted to it. He even has all these expensive collections of Japanese anime characters miniatures or whatever you call it. When he started talking, he was sweating; I could sense how nervous he was. His hands were shaking, his voice was trembling. He’s unstable but he was trying his best. It was impressive. I was impressed. I was flattered how my presence could make him shiver like that but I was honestly worried at the same time. I’m worried about him. Me. Us. The Friendship. That awkward moment when I can’t help but to feel the same thing he was feeling-the nervousness. I was nervous because I might say something I might regret after or something that might hurt him.
One of my most feared moment was being rejected and rejecting someone.
Why I fear being rejected?
Because it makes me feel a little less of myself. It makes me feel like I’m too dumb to be accepted. It makes me feel like I’m not worth it. It makes me feel worse. It depresses me. It makes me crazy. That’s one reason why it was so hard for me to reject someone-because I can totally relate.
My reason of rejecting someone: a very simple answer. I don’t like him or I like someone else (I think the latter would do). But I don’t usually use this line to reject someone. It’s too cruel, you think? No matter how much you say that it’s the best way. It‘s the most easiest, direct and honest way to wrap things up. But for me, it’s not. I have my ways but I don’t think it’s working either. I would usually run around the bush. When I’m about to reject someone I will start the statement with..
I appreciate your feelings. I’m flattered you like me. You’re nice, kind and you thought so much of me. I am thankful, but you deserve someone better (better than me), someone who can return all your feelings and kindness and it’s not me.
But that’s the irony of it because the very reason he’s courting you was because you are his choice-his best choice.
No arguments there.
But when he asked me,
Why don’t you like me? Was it because I’m not handsome (but he’s not so bad looking and it really doesn’t matter if he is, though I must admit, appearance do play an important role, but if you really like someone, it doesn’t matter how bad he looks like)?
Was it because I’m not rich (but they’re actually well off)?
He said, yeah, girls are like that, they always prefer someone good-looking and all. But wait, I would think who wouldn’t want that? After all it’s the first thing that would matter-the looks.
What about you guys?
I mean, I wanted to ask him, what about you? Didn’t you court me because you find me pretty or the kind? I mean, let’s not be hypocrite here.
We all have reasons.
But the very thing is that-we just don’t click. That’s all. You keep your reasons, I’ll keep mine.
Ugh. Explaining this to him would do no good. Why? Because whatever nice words you will say to him, he would not listen. He would simply want you answer-yes to him.
Let’s turn the table guys.
Picture this out.
What if I will confess that I like you (and you don’t like me for real), what would you do? Court me out of pity? You wouldn’t want to go out with a girl you don’t like, would you? Hit on me for your sexual advantage? (The usual thing a guy would do)? Ignore me? Or? Are you gonna tell me you don’t like me because I’m not pretty and definitely not your type? (Rarely things a guy would do)? Or just smile on me? or yeah, best line would be "I like someone else too! ^_^
But guys, life is like that. If not being accepted, you’ll be rejected. You will either be the one playing the rejecter part or the one being rejected. Take your pick. That’s life. It was always been that way even before you were born.
What I really want to say is that. Don’t feel bad about being rejected with your feelings towards someone because you will never know that someone else out there is looking you at the same time feeling the same thing because of you. It’s just a matter of who gets the chance first.
Does it make sense? Guess not! HAHA.