May 31, 2012

I Can't Find A Words To Say Goodbye

Exactly one year today was the last time I was with John,
we watched movie (it was his first to watch 3D) and was my last time to be with him. I really had fun watching him being so fascinated with the effect of the 3D glasses, he keeps taking it off to see the difference, if there's is any difference at all. He's such a kiddo. He always makes me laugh and smile. He keeps complimenting me. He always makes me feel pretty when I'm with him (I mentioned it already, aye?). He's not the best guy I've been with, but he's different. He's always been open with his love life and it feels good that after everything we've been through, he still trust me. And now, I think it's time to say goodbye..
I can't actually find the right words but will a simple goodbye would do?


I'm praying that wherever he is, he's at peace. 

I hope he knows that he will always be remembered and that I'm always be thankful that once in my life I got the chance to meet, to know and to be with someone like him. I am regretful for everything I did that made him feel bad about us, but grateful because he never take it against me. He remained to be a friend. A good friend.
I feel bad for not letting him feel how happy I was having him in my life. I hope you wouldn't do the same readers. Life is short, I've said this a million times but what I didn't know is that I made it shorter for keeping everything I feel (felt) by myself. It was a sad realization but it's not too late for you guys :D

So, if you truly appreciate someone's presence..let them know, it may not be easy for you but I'm sure it's worth it. Do not wait for them to disappear because it might be too late for you then. There is no such thing as the right time, just the right timing and confidence :D

As for John, I know I will never see you again though I just wish you're just somewhere out there stuck in an Island (like the castaway movie) waiting to be rescued, but I know it was just a wistful thinking :(





22 comments:

  1. Is he dead? I hope not.

    Yeah. Life is too short, that's why I always tell my boyfriend how special he is to me no matter how corny or cheesy it may seem.

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    1. I'd like to think he's not yet dead :)

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  2. Awww Mai, this post has moved me so much, I'm not kidding, it's hit me hard. What's happened to John is so sad, I remember you posting about how he went missing and I prayed at the time he'd be found again but it seems like he wasn't to be. I hope that some day soon he's found Mai, even if it's just so he can rest in peace and put his families nerves to rest, this is so sad, so sorry for your loss Mai, don't say goodbye just yet though, don't give up hope in your heart.

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  3. This was a really beautiful tribute to him. It's good that the last memory you have of being with him is such a good one. It's a real tragedy what happened, but as long as you remember him, and you will, then there is no need to truly say goodbye.

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  4. bad bad bad Sendong. I can't imagine how it feels like to lose a dear old friend like you did. I hope too that he's still alive, in a little town somewhere, probably with amnesia or something that's why he's out of reach, and that he'll be back someday..

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  5. I'm sure everything will fall into place soon and time will come that all these hanging questions will be answered. Don't lose hope Mai ^_^ Aja!

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  6. Very nice tribute. Saying goodbye is never easy.

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  7. it's funny... i had a dream once, you went abroad and you bumped onto him. He doesn't recognize you because he had amnesia. And he went off to marry the girl who rescued him from the flood.... (omg... i guess i'm watching too much teledrama!)

    reality sucks though... that damn flood changed and took many lives. :(

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    1. HAHAHAHAH! epekto ra gyud na sa drama jo! ^_^ don't worry, I feel for you. HAHA..murag meteor garden, wa lang ko sya nabahaan. hahahah!

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    2. haha labaw ra si mai yang! memorized pa ang storyline sa meteor garden! LOL~ weird jud akong mga damgo ay~ but that doesn't stop me from over-sleeping! ^_* LOL~

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  8. hi mai, don't lose hope, he's somewhere out there or maybe up there! he's happy watching you!

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  9. Hope you meet him one day again.
    www.thoughtsofpaps.com

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  10. I hope you'll get to see him again someday. Don't lose hope...

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  11. He made an impact on you because you are special.

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  12. don't be sad about it mai. I'm sure, you two will meet someday at the right time. :) Don't lose hope.

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  13. Well at the very least he made a positive impact on you. :)

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  14. hi mai, don't lose hope, he's somewhere out there or maybe up there! he's happy watching you!

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  15. My sincerest condolences, Mai. I can't imagine. Must be indescribably awful for you. I am so sorry for your loss.

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  16. HOW SAD NAMAN... FAVE KO UNG SONG!

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