I used to believe that life is unfair. But I don't think I'm alone in this, am I ? 

I mentioned about my friend, a dear friend (who is seriously sick) I accompanied last Tuesday for his dialysis, right? For some reason, I tried to refrain complaining about me being jobless and been really thankful for everyday (every morning) I wake up healthy. 

many would say life is UNFAIR, but it's not. Know why? because life is..UNFAIR to you, UNFAIR to me, UNFAIR to everyone. Therefore, LIFE is FAIR.

 When he asked me how am I doing, absentmindedly my reply was sort of, "f*cked up! I'm jobless, frustrated and hopeless" I can go on..


but his reply really made me think, "atleast you're healthy Mai", I can sense his pain thru his message. It must have been hard for him.


Who am I to complain? There's this man who actually has a job, a wife and a life but recently was diagnosed of an unexpected sickness that is curable thru transplant only. I tried to pull myself together, gather my wits and put a smiley emoticon on my reply. I wanted to reassure him that everything will be okay, but of course, he knows better than me.  So much to my surprise, he seem to be doing fine when I saw him..-share to you some other time.


For now, I really just wanna be thankful I'm still alive, healthy and kicking. Live life to the fullest! I admit, I'm still upset with the fact that I'm still jobless, I still can't believe myself I'm still jobless. I've been trying so hard :( might not be obvious to you but I swear, I'm doing my very best, pushing my limits and even trying to get whatever it is that's on the table just because I needed a job so badly :(


Sigh.


Moreover, back to the book FIFTHY SHADES TRILOGY. I DID FINISH THE BOOK in less than a week :P I guess I am well aware (I just ignore it) that it wasn't the best book in the market (not even close) and it was definitely one of the most f*cked up book I ever read, guess Mark and Marcus would surely agree with me on this :), but it was very entertaining and funny, that's all I care :)


P.S 
How's life for you dearies? :) I hope it's not as f*cked up as mine :) Happy thoughts. xx

There's nothing much to share lately. I've been preoccupied with a lot of things, interviews, exams and books. Oh well, I went to accompany a friend to his dialysis schedule today, and as much as I want to share about it, I can't, not now, maybe some other time though. 

Anyway, I've been listening to this audio book- Fifty Shades Trilogy, heard of this book? hmm..I will not recommend this since Marcus a.k.a Michael Westside made a side comment that E.L James was a horrible horrible writer, lols. So, I was thinking, maybe you might not like it as well, but you can check it out if you want to. As for me, I find it funny-the usual novel thing, though obscenity (not my thing really) kind of rule over romance (correct me if I'm wrong). So, that's it. That what makes me busy lately :)

How about you? What's up with you? Any book in particular that interest you at the moment?

What's the most embarrassing (most flattering) thing you ever (someone has ever) did for (to you) someone you love (like)???

I remember when I was 16 (it was valentines), when I arrived school, and as I enter the classroom, I saw something on my desk-a CARD and a flower (ROSE) sent from someone I rather not mention since he's living his life now :), I'm not sure if it was something special but it surely was flattering enough for me to blush and to say "ground! please swallow me, right now!"

lols. 

Anyway, the reason I mentioned these (embarrassing and flattering) to you is because of this video that has been on facebook since last night,

taken at Ateneo de Cagayan University.

At first, I have no interest of watching this video thinking it was just some shitty crap, very common, the usual cheesy proposal "happy birthday/will you be my girlfriend" stunt made by some unknown guy in our city, but wait! when I hit the play button I was like..(gathering all my wits and..)

shit??? I know this guy!!! 

I was stunned, really!!! when I realize that the guy who actually pull this thing off is my cousin. I mean, c'mon? seriously??? If Joan did not tag me on this, I would probably just ignore this whole thing and will surely left me outdated! So, thank you Jo! ^_^

Hmm..I was thinking if anyone of you will ever dare to do this kind of thing for someone, if so..

How far would you go to pull this kind of thing and what could be your reasons of doing such? 

Recently we got hit by the newly spread virus that has been said to be fix and shut down already. Though our pc seems to be working just fine now than days ago, I still can't get over with the fact that it actually infected us almost unnoticed. 
It started maybe 3-5days ago when my brother complained about his files went missing. I don't know what to answer him since I also had my fair share of complaints. When Jojo check on it, he told us that it came from my sister's USB and can't be deleted. It attacks on files by hiding it. Then I told him that yesterday it prompted that it runs out of memory so I have to close some programs and restart my pc. I still didn't know what to do since last night it totally annoyed me. I can't get sign in my facebook, I can't open my emails and this is how it looked.

It's annoying!!!


I gave up after a few tries and decided to just use my phone but guess what????! I can't connect to the internet!!! Really? even the WIFI??? You gotta be kidding me :(


Until Jojo decided to just reformat the pc, reset the wifi settings and poof! back to normal, but the thing is, I have to change the password of my every accounts and I got plenty of them :( 


I hope none of you is experiencing the same thing. However, please be cautious with whatever you plug in, in your pc/laptop so won't have to undergo this problem like me, kay?  :)

It's been a while since I had my last challenge post. This was supposed to be posted a week ago but I can't complete the list and still trying to think whose name to write (not) ;-P


Some of you might be aware about me being in college for 10 years, 4 schools and shifted four times so that makes this post a little bit more complicated. I can't remember anymore the name of the instructors I had for the past 10 years but let me give it a try..

Let's begin with the worst teachers ever. I prefer not to mention the school and the name of the instructor.

Top 5 Worst Teachers

5. My GEOMETRY professor. She failed me. She never gave me the chance just because she doesn't like. She didn't let me take the removal exam because she hates me. Ugh!?! I hate her. She's one of the worst for me because she let her personal feelings gets into the way which unfair. I guess?


4. My ENGLISH instructor. Hmm..She was actually a good teacher but she favors more on guys in class than girls. tsk! weird eh? Plus, I don't like the way she handles her class. I mean, I don't think I'm in the position to critic her but she's too bookish. When we have quizzes she would never consider any other answer (even if it has the same meaning or whatever)-she's narrow minded, which I think is not good for a teacher like her. Also, she's not friendly. She acts tough in a laughable way and she had this weird color combination style of outfit. Hay. Now, I'm being mean. 


3. My P.E instructor. During class he'd always look at me like I was a sore eye to him. He would raised his eyebrow and smile like a demon just because I was a friend of the cutiest guy in class. Ugh! So gay!!!  


2. She was my GENERAL BIOLOGY instructor. For me she was one of the worst because she has this "favoritism" attitude. I hate it! 


1. He was my TAXATION instructor. Why? Because he doesn't look like a teacher to me. He's weird and he's scary. I don't like the way he talks. His looks  was untidy. The way he look at girls (dirty!)..that's all.

Top 5 Best Teacher 

If I were to choose I'd write only one teacher because for me there's no other one, but the challenge says 5. Hay!

5. He was my RIZAL (History) instructor. He carries with him his book during class but never open it, maybe because he knew already what's in there. He was the most impressive instructor ever. One thing I could never forget about him was during our first quiz..It was an essay and the topic was..

"Why would we study history? Why study the life of Rizal?"

Everyone was doing their best. They had like half of the paper filled with flowery words and I had just like 2 sentences on it. When he had our papers he randomly read our answers and laugh and then said, 

-I think nobody got the right answer, 

Class, do you know what's the answer I'm looking for? 

We're studying this subject because we need to. We're oblige to and it's part of the curriculum and if we don't, none of you will ever graduate. 

HAHA! Everyone got 8 points and I got 10. Why? That's a secret I will never tell. xoxo. lol


4. Next was my NEW CONSTITUTION instructor. I've been trying to remember his name but I can't. But he was for me one of the best. He's fair. He's lively. He always left us hanging. He's really a good teacher and he always have time for his students. He learns from us, we learn from him. That's how it goes-always.  He spent most of his time listening to his students and it's impressive. I never met any teachers who wasted their time with his students that much.


3. My PHILOSOPHY  instructor. He taught me well, that's all I could say.


2. Would be 3 persons all equal. My ACCOUNTING, CALCULUS and CULINARY instructors. 
Why? simply because, they're like two in one. A teacher and a friend :)


1. My TOP would be-She was my SPEECH instructor. She was the smartest instructor (aside from my Principal in high school) I ever came across with. She was funny and I never get bored in her class. Her students would always come to class excited. Those kind of things. She never give extra points. What you give is what you get. That's her way of grading. hmm..that's what I like her most. I learned from her a lot. It was in her class that I always wanted to get a perfect score. It was her class that I enjoyed the most. ^_^ 


Do you have anyone in mind right now? Care to tell? :)

I went back to my old interface in blogger and uninstall my blogger apps in my phone since it's been giving me a hard time posting, I landed checking my stat (which I seldom do for the last 6months, I guess?) and surprised to see that my most popular post A Table For Two (My Brother's Marriage Proposal To A Fellow Blogger) -that is (who) by the way you probably knew-again, a blogger who is obviously soon to be my sister, the author of this blog Diaries of an Indistinctive  :) has reach to more than a thousand views and it made me feel awesomely happy! *dancing* 


Oh. When can I get over this. HAHA!


Oh, by the way,


I was asked to share the best photo I ever took since I started blogging, I shared this already but it was way back in my first quarter of blogging so I bet you never got the chance to see this yet :D

Happy faces of children who asked me to take their pictures :D 

priceless smiles of strangers :)

construction workers :D

Suddenly, I wanna go out just to take photos of strangers :( 


hmm..


What about you? What's the best photo you could share to the world? If you can't share to me the photo, atleast describe it to me :)

I am surprised when I open this blog and saw nothing but my outdated post. What just happened blogger? Why are you not publishing my post? Hmp! Was it my phone? or really the blogger? I hope it will be fix soon. 


Have a nice day blogger :)

If you read my post yesterday Unrequited love you’d understand what this is all about. But I'm not so sure if I will make any connections at all to the title :D

The post somehow came off with something like “I’m about to turn down” a guy, but nope. 

So far, I don’t think someone is planning to confess, well, if there’s, I’d make sure he’ll never get the chance to say it. That’s how I run things with guys.

Unrequited love does not only refer to someone whose love was unreturned but also to the rejecter.  If you think that during courting (or confession time), it’s only the guy that feels uneasy, well, guys! You better think again because I tell you. It’s not. Girls somehow would feel pressured as to how is she gonna turn you down in a lesser pain way. I’m saying this through my very own experience.

This happened few years back perhaps around my teen years.

There was this guy who likes me so much (I could tell how serious he was) and it took him years before he could finally say it to me. It was a huge chance for him. There was no one else but us in his place, listening to some anime songs choosing which one of those hundreds of song is to be downloaded and burn. If there’s something we have in common, it was the Japanese manga series, music and language. We’re both addicted to it. He even has all these expensive collections of Japanese anime characters miniatures or whatever you call it. When he started talking, he was sweating; I could sense how nervous he was. His hands were shaking, his voice was trembling. He’s unstable but he was trying his best. It was impressive. I was impressed. I was flattered how my presence could make him shiver like that but I was honestly worried at the same time. I’m worried about him. Me. Us. The Friendship. That awkward moment when I can’t help but to feel the same thing he was feeling-the nervousness. I was nervous because I might say something I might regret after or something that might hurt him.

One of my most feared moment was being rejected and rejecting someone.

Why I fear being rejected?

Because it makes me feel a little less of myself. It makes me feel like I’m too dumb to be accepted. It makes me feel like I’m not worth it. It makes me feel worse. It depresses me. It makes me crazy. That’s one reason why it was so hard for me to reject someone-because I can totally relate.

My reason of rejecting someone: a very simple answer. I don’t like him or I like someone else (I think the latter would do). But I don’t usually use this line to reject someone. It’s too cruel, you think? No matter how much you say that it’s the best way. It‘s the most easiest, direct and honest way to wrap things up.  But for me, it’s not. I have my ways but I don’t think it’s working either. I would usually run around the bush. When I’m about to reject someone I will start the statement with..

I appreciate your feelings. I’m flattered you like me. You’re nice, kind and you thought so much of me. I am thankful, but you deserve someone better (better than me), someone who can return all your feelings and kindness and it’s not me. 

But that’s the irony of it because the very reason he’s courting you was because you are his choice-his best choice.

No arguments there.

But when he asked me,

Why don’t you like me? Was it because I’m not handsome (but he’s not so bad looking and it really doesn’t matter if he is, though I must admit, appearance do play an important role, but if you really like someone, it doesn’t matter how bad he looks like)?

Was it because I’m not rich (but they’re actually well off)?

He said, yeah, girls are like that, they always prefer someone good-looking and all. But wait, I would think who wouldn’t want that? After all it’s the first thing that would matter-the looks.

What about you guys?

I mean, I wanted to ask him, what about you? Didn’t you court me because you find me pretty or the kind? I mean, let’s not be hypocrite here.

We all have reasons.

But the very thing is that-we just don’t click. That’s all. You keep your reasons, I’ll keep mine.

Ugh. Explaining this to him would do no good. Why? Because whatever nice words you will say to him, he would not listen. He would simply want you answer-yes to him.

Let’s turn the table guys.

Picture this out.

What if I will confess that I like you (and you don’t like me for real), what would you do? Court me out of pity? You wouldn’t want to go out with a girl you don’t like, would you? Hit on me for your sexual advantage? (The usual thing a guy would do)? Ignore me? Or? Are you gonna tell me you don’t like me because I’m not pretty and definitely not your type? (Rarely things a guy would do)? Or just smile on me? or yeah, best line would be "I like someone else too! ^_^

Confusing eh?

But guys, life is like that. If not being accepted, you’ll be rejected. You will either be the one playing the rejecter part or the one being rejected. Take your pick. That’s life.  It was always been that way even before you were born. 

What I really want to say is that. Don’t feel bad about being rejected with your feelings towards someone because you will never know that someone else out there is looking you at the same time feeling the same thing because of you. It’s just a matter of who gets the chance first.

Does it make sense? Guess not! HAHA. 


bleeeh ;-P

lol. ^_^

All along I thought that "unrequited love" means reunited love when it actually means quite not the opposite but almost. 


Why am I talking about this? I dunno really. Maybe because I have been influenced with Japanese movies these days and some scenes in the movie portrays an unrequited love or such. It is something that does not happen only in movies but in real life. 


Agree?


An unrequited love.


Scene:


When a guy confesses his feelings towards a girl, if he's serious, he'd probably feel nervous..aye? He would think it was him who's doing, exerting a great effort to confess. Of course, seemingly hoping the girl he's wooing will see or realize how much effort he put through to overcome the feeling of agitation. 


But the moment he got rejected, (contrary to what he's expecting) he would gone wild. He'll ignore the girl. Avoid her. Curse her. Hate her or worse?


For what reason? for feeling discarded? 


Hah!


Would he rather want the girl to say yes out of pity? 


I think he should thank the girl for being honest. 


Correct? 


Respect the girls decision and move on. Find someone else, go on a hunt! (there are plenty of girls). 


Yeah. Yeah. I know! there's no one else like her. But what he do? the girl has someone else in her mind. The girl has it's own heart to follow..


Let's turn the table next :)

I'm currently watching this Korean drama series "12 Men In A Year" don't worry this is not a review" ^_^, it's just that..


It's my sister! 


she keeps telling me that I will never get myself a boyfriend. That I'm pitiful because I'm single. Jobless and unluckily penniless :( 


At some point, she's right. 


But what can I do? It's not like I'm gonna die not being in a relationship, right? But probably die of famished. 


Sure, being in a relationship seems to be fun. You have someone with you not all the time but atleast someone who's oblige to "think" of you every now and then, if he even bothers. lol
Someone who will treat you out for a date (waste money on you) and greets you in the morning, afternoon and evening. Someone who will constantly sweep you out of your feet. Someone who acts nicely, treat you like a princess or even a queen. Someone who says sweet nothings. Someone who will argue with you, laugh with you or worse makes you cry but will kiss your tears away in the end. Someone who can turn your world upside down. Someone to think of and someone other than friends and family you can build your future with..


Should I go on?


Nope.


I'd rather not. 


I might not stop :)


You see. There are some good aspects of having a relationship but as I mentioned in my previous (so long ago) post, there were reasons why I remained single and my sister just don't get it.


You think I should get one?


and then snap!


Nope.  I don't think so. I'd rather be single than to go out with different guys I don't like :p 


Hmm..I remember my cousin once told me, 

you should find a guy who likes you more than you do.

but I actually prefer the contrary. 


I don't know why. It's just that. I am more than happy being with someone I like a lot even if he likes me less. weird eh?


Hay. I dunno how will this topic ends up but basically I need to connect the whole thing to the title "12 Men In A Year" ..


..hmm, I was thinking of giving myself a break. aye? I need to loosen up a little. 


I need to start hunting-GUY HUNTING..


and we even come up with a style. 


whatever that is, it will be shared once it's being realize :)


As for now, a question was being raised.


Which would you prefer. He/She likes you more than you do or the contrary?